Hissy Fit

Something pretty amazing happened this weekend. I found myself being more truthful than I have ever been with Sir.

We where talking on the phone and he was telling me things and I kept trying to move the topic to sex but he would have none of it. One of those perks of ADD, he was hyperfocused and it wasn't on me at the time. We got cut off and I was frustrated and mad that he wouldn't talk with me the way I wanted so I decided to masturbate.... which I did.

The orgasm was evading me and took longer to get close too.. much more work than usual and much to my dismay I found it very... anti-climactic. I was mad for not getting my way... thought of not telling him I even did it for awhile.

He got home, we talked, I gave him the token.

He asked me how it was.. I said horrible :( I did it cuz I was mad and it just was a lousy orgasm. I felt empty afterwards. HOWEVER, I was totally taken aback by my honesty, I admitted to him that I was being a spoiled brat and having a hissy for not getting my way. Usually when I get like that it is the last thing I would share with him and I would get over it... but not today. It was like the dinamic changed.

I have been thinking a lot about that.

I also admited to him today that I have used his ADD and forgetting against him this week because he gave me a date to do something and I didn't do it... I knew he would forget.

Last night dreams plagued me, orders mixing in with dream orders and when I woke with the cloudy head I had to think of what true orders where and what dream orders where... it was odd.

So wherever this new world takes us, it is changing the way we behave with each other and I really like that. He touches me different, I cannot remember if I wrote that here before or not, I know I told it to him. He feels me, doesn't really grope... not that he couldn't or shouldn't... I am just saying that he feels me up staring at me knowing I will not move his hand away and he can do whatever he wishes. It is no more grab and wonder if she will spank his hand away. He finds that in his world away from home he is becoming more assertive as well.

I cleaned up all the toys and organized the toybox today. I hope he finds it to his liking. I was supposed to do it last week.... in my dream world he commanded me to move it closer to his side of the bed for easier access. I decided that even if it was a dream I should do that. Right now he has been ordering me to get things from and he can still do that, I just figure he should be able to grab things quickly if he feels the need.

Last night we looked at youtube and bondage rope techniques, I love the bondage rope corset... and the collar!