Why and TMI please

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Rewinding time

"I don't think I want to tie you up" was his comment. He didn't understand at all. It took me showing him what the bonds meant for him to understand. He liked it, but didn't quite understand why.

I tied him up, blindfolded him, and then played with his body for awhile... if there is one thing he likes it is blow jobs.... but I didn't complete it. Instead I brought out the trusted vibrator and pleasured myself, making sure my thigh brushed up against him so he could feel my leg... feel the muscles tense, my thigh shake against his... until my moans deep in orgasm take over, and he is muttering words of tremendous want... as I reach over and untie his bonds, and he climbs on me and shows me what he has stored up for me.

That was getting the feet wet, not in bondage really but in teasing someone while bound. It took awhile to get more brave and tell him how I wanted more, some of it brought on by his own ties and love for patterns of rope on my body.

Until him I was slightly submissive and my more kinkier fantasies revolved around women to be honest. He changed me a lot... I became more submissive and more wanting of tastes of deeper things. Perhaps not all the time but it was kind of needed. Because if he doesn't give it to me my own head will... to fill a void. In having to fill the void myself I pull away from him some, because I feel unwanted.

masturbation can be a great friend

Gimme more

The world needs better porn, or I need a less active imagination.

I find bits and pieces of what I like but not the full meal deal it seems.

I confess I like to watch clips of ultimate surrender and my head works in overdrive, however a lot of it I think is the domination of it all. I like to be dominated, crave it... however I find it somewhat on my terms, and kinda want that person to say... fuck you, you do it on my terms. Funny thing is the more I get it rough, the more I enjoy the softer sex, it makes you crave the opposite perhaps?

Seriously, how many women crave to be fucked for an hour straight? How many have their orgasm and even though they say... I am done... the other person says, I am not done so deal with it.

Domination to me isn't really about him getting off, more about how they control my body. The more its controlled the hotter I get.

• Oh your nipples hurt? Too bad, they aren't black and blue so you get the clamps.
• Get your ass ready cuz in a half hour it is going to be up in the air waiting for me to fuck it.
• Tied up with clothes on as the hand slips up my shirt and grabs my breast.

The men would be in shock if they really realized what our fantasies are and what we masturbate too.

TMI Tuesday

1. Marriage and children aside, what has been your greatest accomplishment in life? A few of the photo shoots I have done and gotten paid for on the side.

2. Aside from healthy and happy children, what is your greatest ambition for the future? Would love to do something more with my photography. It would be awesome to have my own shop and have thought about ways to promote it for years.

3. If we were to enter your real name in a search engine, what would we find? A lotta people that are not me.

4. Who is the most famous person you ever met (not just in the same room as, but actually spoke with)? Yeoman Rand

5. Parents aside, who is your biggest hero? Every day people that overcome some really massive shit and survive, I often think that there is no way I could of gone through what they did.

6. Someone once worked out the sexual version of Six Degrees of Separation - Celebrity A slept with B, who slept with C, who slept with D, making as sort of connection between A and D. Are you connected to anyone famous through six or fewer bonks? I think I would have to bonk more poeple for that LOL

HNT

So tell me... what is it about a shelf bra that makes wearing it so yummie?

TMI Tuesday

1. If you could describe your personality through a dance what would it be? haha a cell phone dance cuz it is always getting in the way, and I am trying to dodge it.
2. What about describing your sex life through a type of dance? mmm sporadic?
3. What's one move on the dance floor sure to turn you on? Tango, I think it is erotic and smexy!
4. Is there a dancer you would love to be with? (Dancer can be used as loosely as you want!) This would imply I knew dancers... and I do not, but how about someone who is slow with lotsa sexy touches that are done with a strong hand, demanding my body to follow his lead *purrs*
5. What moves do you pull out to impress someone new? Respecting them for some reason, be it a big or small thing... otherwise, I am me so deal with it

Holding back

If there is one thing that I have learned since the hitachi has entered the picture is that I hold back.

I think this actually happens more than I totally realize. Probably with Sir too... Its like I fight to control the orgam, like it has to be on my terms. In reality I think this not only robs me of some it also takes some and makes them smaller than they actually could be.

How does one fix this?

How do I know that I am doing this? I feel it.

I reign in my voice, more often than not trying to be mute.
I take some of the vibration away so it will not be as intense.
I will clamp down myself instead of being loose and relaxed and letting it take over me.

In reading more about wet orgasms I believe I have learned that I have stopped them from happening.

However, I have achieved them in the past and not really realized what they where... in my young stupidity I thought I was wetting the bed. I now realize, through lack of smell it was actually a squirting orgasm. My head has now taken those away from me, and I would like to get it back on occasion :)

So something to work on.... who knew sex is so much work?!

HNT

TMI Tuesday

1. Have you ever had a sexual experience with the opposite sex? Not really, though not because I didn't want to, I had the opportunity when I was young and chickened out. However, now if the opportunity presented itself I would want to but wouldn't do anything to harm our marriage.

2. When you see someone you like, how do you act, how do you get their attention? I do not really do that anymore. haha... unless your asking how I get my mans attention, and then nibbling in his ear or blowing my hot breathe on his neck seems to get his attention when he doesn't realize what I am doing before that ;)

3. Dominate or dominated, which do you prefer? Dominate me all the way baby, I hate to be the dominate one. Real life is full of giving out orders, my bedroom I really do not want that. Take me, swat that ass and tell me its yours :)

4. Would you/ Have you ever had a threesome? I never have had one, I would but could never do it with someone I love, I just do not share well :( But I am with my man so this is a mute possibility at the moment... which is ok because I love the areas we are exploring.

5. When was the last time you had sex? Last night I had a nice ride :)

6. Sex on the first date...good or bad? I guess it depends on the people and how they do things... yea I have done it and no... it led no where... and he wasn't that good :P

7. Do you have any random or out of the ordinary turn ons? Oh hell yea, I will be in a crowded room and see his hands doing something and blush cuz I start thinking of them on me and doing what they do so well. Don't even get me going on those fingers of his....

8. What attributes attract you to a potential partner. I would say grooming is a big one, and confidence.... I am a hand watcher too and I love a nice butt.

Inside the girl

I have gotten some compliments and simple comments from Sir about various things that I have written about past encounters here and I realized, wow what a thought! To be able to get inside someones head and realize what they where feeling as you where doing something from the others point of view. What it meant... to me.

I find myself wondering what it is like from his point of view.

Like... what was he thinking as he took the vibrator away yet my body was still withering below him in a long ... seemingly never ending orgasm?

What was he thinking when he held the back of my head, grasping my hair and fucking my mouth with his cock repeatedly?

I wonder if he feels like reading items here are more of a "gift" per say... a gift of looking inside my mind where I am most vulnerable.

HNT

See, I'm still here....

:)