Holding back

If there is one thing that I have learned since the hitachi has entered the picture is that I hold back.

I think this actually happens more than I totally realize. Probably with Sir too... Its like I fight to control the orgam, like it has to be on my terms. In reality I think this not only robs me of some it also takes some and makes them smaller than they actually could be.

How does one fix this?

How do I know that I am doing this? I feel it.

I reign in my voice, more often than not trying to be mute.
I take some of the vibration away so it will not be as intense.
I will clamp down myself instead of being loose and relaxed and letting it take over me.

In reading more about wet orgasms I believe I have learned that I have stopped them from happening.

However, I have achieved them in the past and not really realized what they where... in my young stupidity I thought I was wetting the bed. I now realize, through lack of smell it was actually a squirting orgasm. My head has now taken those away from me, and I would like to get it back on occasion :)

So something to work on.... who knew sex is so much work?!