Descriptions

I was thinking today of how I would describe myself to others. I mean seriously looking at me never in a million years would you even think I would be one of those girls with nipples pierced... or submissive for that matter.

I am dominant in my home, mamma lion when I need to be. I run the house... while he is more quiet. The more I run the house, the more I need to be submissive in the bedroom. I hate being in charge and the consistency that is needed to make sure things get done.

If I don't get the dominance in the bedroom then I get cranky and withdraw. I still try to do my best but I feel like I lose myself. I get more depressed and loose interest in sex. Lose interest in taking care of myself... the hair grows and I no longer beg for him to help me take care of it cuz I cease to care. Ok so sex no longer feels as good... and I dont care. I stop taking care of the panty line, its like if he doesn't care why should I?

A few days ago during sex I lay there as he tried to make his way to the promised land to be met by hair resistance, it hurt cuz of hair tugging, and I didn't feel his skin on mine with the hair blocking, and I couldn't understand why he wasn't annoyed with it.

So I fall and get depressed and the want for sex declines.... actually I have trouble getting off, eventually bringing myself out of depression by getting lost in my fantasies, which brings back some of the sex drive.

So...

I need to be dominated on a regular basis to keep myself in check.
I need it more when I am stressed because it makes me forget everything else that is going on and kind of grounds me... grounds me with him.

I can be happy with vanilla... but only if I am taking care of my own needs. Sometimes it scares me cuz I get kinkier and kinkier in order to get off though.

Some day I will get older and wont give a shit right?

He is totally wonderful and amazing in bed when he wants to be... I think he gets to tired for the extra stuff... or something... I dunno.

However we tried to do anal a few days ago and I couldn't do it. I just wasn't there... and felt so unkempt and undesirable... I couldn't relax and do it.

Right now I am in my fantasy stage, and orgasms actually are easier and take my breath away... aka I feel like masturbation again. Today in my head by body was bound with a O ring gag... every hole at his disposal and I got off to the thought of him fucking my ass and chewing on a nipple.

:)

The punishment that wasn't

He lay the ball gag by my head, and had his way with me.... after I could feel the ball gag rubbing against my arm as he went down on me trying to wake me up... He then grabbed the hitachi and used it until I could feel and finally gave him the O he was waiting for.

I think the punishment was getting those glimpses of the ball gag and realizing what could of been...

Itty Bitty

Well Sir managed to work out a mini squirt, however...

In the past a couple of times I did it more there was a relief but no real orgasm if you know what I mean... In the mini there was a orgasm and riding the waves :)

Mini because I, of all things... got like a charlie horse in my foot... so it was like oooo orgasm coming... ow ow foot foot... orgasm bye bye... all be damned he is giving me an O with my foot hurting like hell... and then the mini squirting along with foot pain thing happened LOL

It is kinda funny I guess huh? Sir is happy because he got to feel how cold the squirt is, he was actually pretty surprised.

Loss

I am still mourning the loss of The Seduction of Infidelity

:(

Who is going to make me breathless now?

Keep it Pretty

I walked into the room to find items on the bed.

I put on my ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, collar, and the ball gag went on last. It hurts my jaw so that is always last…

I get on the bed in sub pose and wait.

He comes in and stares at me, then sighs.

“What is this?” he says accusingly as he pulls my pubic hair.

He made me lay down on my stomach and he nestled a vibrator against my clit. He made me hold open my ass cheeks with my legs spread as he chastised me for letting my hair grow back there as well. He said he wanted my ass pretty and smooth, and I have been neglecting my duties. He poured the hot oil down my ass cheeks so it ran down my cunt to my clit, and he rubbed it in till I was squirming on the bed.

He tied me spread eagle.

He then shoved in the big ass plug, stating that if my ass would have been smooth and pretty he would of put in the jeweled one that I like, but I didn’t deserve the jeweled one. He then started spanking me with something… and every once in awhile he would spank my pussy for good measure making sure it still burned.

He spanked me harder and faster, mumbling that it was too bad it hurt and I was having problems coming because he wasn’t going to stop until I came, as proof that I am his naughty little slut that acts up just so he will prove what a slut I am and that I enjoy the pain. He hit my ass, thighs and pussy until I got lost, coming hard, screaming into my ball gag.

He took out the ass plug and got between my legs, vibrator still humming on my swollen clit, he poured more hot oil to lube me up and spread my ass with his hands… sticking his thumbs in opening me up as he poked away at me with his hard cock.

He shoved his cock inside of me and leaned down to whisper that it was his ass and I had better keep it pretty for him unless he tells me otherwise.

He came hard and fast, but kept going… until I came and my ass squeezed his cock and made him come again.

He is good at that… he comes many times… and won’t stop until he is satisfied.

Sometimes that means his piece of ass is in for a long night…. And I love it.

For the love of my jewelry

I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out what it is about that butt plug jewelry that is so fascinating for me. It is deliciously naughty for me in a few different ways.

1. The smoothness of the metal makes it plop in, making it seem like my ass is kind of... sucking it up. I feel slutty, and keep waiting for some type of comment about being to eager or something.
2. The long neck is so skinny that it makes it more comfortable. Not like any other plug I have ever worn or tried.
3. Because of the slim neck it only slightly holds you open. This is more erotic to me than a larger plug, it is almost a silent statement of... "You are comfortable, but your ass is open slightly for me... as a reminder it is mine."
4. The jeweled area between my ass cheeks is almost more bothersome than the plug inserted. If you tighten to much it feels rigid. However it also is more proof that no matter how you try and clench and keep him out, he wins. Your ass will be kept open, so just give in and let it be.
5. When he taps on it and gives it a rub it makes my heart beat faster :)

My mind wanders to what it would be like to wear it for a day, if I need it taken out having to ask permission to do so... and envision laying over his lap as he strokes my ass and flicks it a bit before taking it out. Doing what I need to do and silently returning and laying over his lap again so he can reinsert the pretty jewel.

He likes to look at it, I cannot tell a lie I have also imagined him making me lean over the side of the bed, legs hanging down and spread wide for his viewing pleasure.... as he whacks off on me and rubs his come on my ass. Not allowing me to touch him or myself, and wear his come and plug for the day until he decides what to do with me.

My imagination runs wild.

I think its because I need to have those after effects... I like to feel used for awhile afterwords. I want the sore muscles, the hot oil making me burn, that vicks making your ass tingle. A reminder I am his, that doesn't disappear just because he is done with me.

Being a sub is easy, being a Dom is hard work. They have to think about how to put their sub in that place and keep her there for awhile to be happy. A happy sub is a horny sub LOL

Take me
Brake me

But it is given freely, and with trust... that no one else ever has had from me.