Descriptions

I was thinking today of how I would describe myself to others. I mean seriously looking at me never in a million years would you even think I would be one of those girls with nipples pierced... or submissive for that matter.

I am dominant in my home, mamma lion when I need to be. I run the house... while he is more quiet. The more I run the house, the more I need to be submissive in the bedroom. I hate being in charge and the consistency that is needed to make sure things get done.

If I don't get the dominance in the bedroom then I get cranky and withdraw. I still try to do my best but I feel like I lose myself. I get more depressed and loose interest in sex. Lose interest in taking care of myself... the hair grows and I no longer beg for him to help me take care of it cuz I cease to care. Ok so sex no longer feels as good... and I dont care. I stop taking care of the panty line, its like if he doesn't care why should I?

A few days ago during sex I lay there as he tried to make his way to the promised land to be met by hair resistance, it hurt cuz of hair tugging, and I didn't feel his skin on mine with the hair blocking, and I couldn't understand why he wasn't annoyed with it.

So I fall and get depressed and the want for sex declines.... actually I have trouble getting off, eventually bringing myself out of depression by getting lost in my fantasies, which brings back some of the sex drive.

So...

I need to be dominated on a regular basis to keep myself in check.
I need it more when I am stressed because it makes me forget everything else that is going on and kind of grounds me... grounds me with him.

I can be happy with vanilla... but only if I am taking care of my own needs. Sometimes it scares me cuz I get kinkier and kinkier in order to get off though.

Some day I will get older and wont give a shit right?

He is totally wonderful and amazing in bed when he wants to be... I think he gets to tired for the extra stuff... or something... I dunno.

However we tried to do anal a few days ago and I couldn't do it. I just wasn't there... and felt so unkempt and undesirable... I couldn't relax and do it.

Right now I am in my fantasy stage, and orgasms actually are easier and take my breath away... aka I feel like masturbation again. Today in my head by body was bound with a O ring gag... every hole at his disposal and I got off to the thought of him fucking my ass and chewing on a nipple.

:)